Monday, August 15, 2011

Is this a good beginning to a memoir?

I like it - it's vivid and starts with action right off the bat. Occasionally the shifts in verb tense from the past to the present is awkward, and it takes the reader out of the story a little. I'd keep it all past. For example, instead of "...I followed her up the sidewalk to our house. The only image that still comes to mind is the sheer emptiness. The yard that usually sported a minimum..." I'd keep the middle bit to the past as well; something like "I almost couldn't recognize it for the sheer emptiness."

No comments:

Post a Comment